Megafake

I set out for my morning run.

The neighborhood is new, the brownstones are darkish, the weather overcast.

Looking down at my neon laced Nikes I tell my brain, "you're fine" and set off to a slow just-got-out-of-bed style jog.

Ahead I hear a not-quite-rustle.  Fifty feet away.  Forty feet away.


My brain says "see, a murderer, just like I told you".  Twenty feet away, I quickly respond "fuck off, you're being a pansy".  Ten feet away "see it's just a trash bag..."  Zero feet away "...that looks...

real..

weird . . .


BECAUSE FUCK IT'S A HUMAN".

In all fairness I think I scared my neighbor just as much as she scared me, but that's not the point.  The point is that she was there.

You see something, you convince yourself otherwise, then FUCK there it is!

Here, now, you see watermelon and you think, this is SAweet!  You take a bite, let the vinegar-sassied cucumber and shallot slap your taste buds upfront and think, mmm savory.  It's fleeting though, and the originally expected sweet watermelon seeps in to mingle with the super soy-marinated tofu and together pave a path for the greenoa to roll through.

Just as delicious as you thought.

Marinated Tofu with Greenoa and Watermelon Salsa

Inspired by Mustard Chicken with Basil Melon Quinoa + Balsamic Kale

Ingredients:

For the tofu:

• Tofu, pressed and sliced
• Soy sauce
• 1 lime, juiced
• Cayenne
• Ginger
• 3 garlic cloves, chopped

For the salsa:

• 1/2 c watermelon, diced
• 1/2 c cucumber, diced
• 1 T vinegar
• 1 T shallot, minced

For the quinoa:

• 1 c quinoa, rinsed
• pinch of salt
• 1 T oil
• water to cover
• 2 c greens, chopped
• 1 T basil, dried
• 2 T fresh mint, chopped
• pepper, as desired

Topping:

• Sprouts of choice

Combine:

1. Whisk together the soy sauce, lime, cayenne, ginger, and garlic in a medium dish then marinate the tofu over night or through the day.
2. Pre-heat your oven to 400 degrees and line a baking sheet with parchment paper or foil.
3. Toss together the ingredients for the salsa and set aside.
4. Drain the tofu from the marinade and place the strips on the baking sheet.  Bake for 10-15 minutes flipping the pieces over after 5-7 minutes.
5. Meanwhile, bring add the quinoa, salt, and oil to a small pot.  Cover the quinoa with 1 inch of water and bring to a boil over high heat for 7 minutes.
6. When the water is just level with the top of the quinoa, reduce the heat to low, cover the pot, and continue to cook for 7-10 minutes until the water is just cooked off and the quinoa is cooked through.
7. Toss the quinoa with the greens, basil, mint, and pepper.  Top with tofu, salsa, and sprouts.
8. Enjoy!