Megafake

I set out for my morning run.

The neighborhood is new, the brownstones are darkish, the weather overcast.

Looking down at my neon laced Nikes I tell my brain, "you're fine" and set off to a slow just-got-out-of-bed style jog.

Ahead I hear a not-quite-rustle.  Fifty feet away.  Forty feet away.


My brain says "see, a murderer, just like I told you".  Twenty feet away, I quickly respond "fuck off, you're being a pansy".  Ten feet away "see it's just a trash bag..."  Zero feet away "...that looks...

real..

weird . . .


BECAUSE FUCK IT'S A HUMAN".

In all fairness I think I scared my neighbor just as much as she scared me, but that's not the point.  The point is that she was there.

You see something, you convince yourself otherwise, then FUCK there it is!

Here, now, you see watermelon and you think, this is SAweet!  You take a bite, let the vinegar-sassied cucumber and shallot slap your taste buds upfront and think, mmm savory.  It's fleeting though, and the originally expected sweet watermelon seeps in to mingle with the super soy-marinated tofu and together pave a path for the greenoa to roll through.

Just as delicious as you thought.

Marinated Tofu with Greenoa and Watermelon Salsa

Inspired by Mustard Chicken with Basil Melon Quinoa + Balsamic Kale

Ingredients:

For the tofu:

• Tofu, pressed and sliced
• Soy sauce
• 1 lime, juiced
• Cayenne
• Ginger
• 3 garlic cloves, chopped

For the salsa:

• 1/2 c watermelon, diced
• 1/2 c cucumber, diced
• 1 T vinegar
• 1 T shallot, minced

For the quinoa:

• 1 c quinoa, rinsed
• pinch of salt
• 1 T oil
• water to cover
• 2 c greens, chopped
• 1 T basil, dried
• 2 T fresh mint, chopped
• pepper, as desired

Topping:

• Sprouts of choice

Combine:

1. Whisk together the soy sauce, lime, cayenne, ginger, and garlic in a medium dish then marinate the tofu over night or through the day.
2. Pre-heat your oven to 400 degrees and line a baking sheet with parchment paper or foil.
3. Toss together the ingredients for the salsa and set aside.
4. Drain the tofu from the marinade and place the strips on the baking sheet.  Bake for 10-15 minutes flipping the pieces over after 5-7 minutes.
5. Meanwhile, bring add the quinoa, salt, and oil to a small pot.  Cover the quinoa with 1 inch of water and bring to a boil over high heat for 7 minutes.
6. When the water is just level with the top of the quinoa, reduce the heat to low, cover the pot, and continue to cook for 7-10 minutes until the water is just cooked off and the quinoa is cooked through.
7. Toss the quinoa with the greens, basil, mint, and pepper.  Top with tofu, salsa, and sprouts.
8. Enjoy!

Fused

From the other side of a move this dish is almost too good of a fit for the moment; a picture perfect feel if you will.

In retrospect, it never seemed as if all these weeks dominated by the first real, thus stereo-typically nightmarish, NYC move were leading to this equally stereotypical, but wonderful, post-move nesting moment.

And yet, the universe came through.

Somehow from brokers equivalent the devil, to flower filled windows equivalent the garden hosting a dove's nest, we made it.

Maybe being filled with these homey feels laid way for these little nesting bowls to be, but moving or not, they are something you want on your dinner table (read: stack of cardboard boxes for those of you who are moving).

Nesting Bowls

Ingredients

For the meatballs:

• 1 lb ground chicken, turkey, or pork
• 3 cloves garlic, finely minced
• 1 T shallot, finely minced
• 2 t ginger, grated
• coriander
• cayenne
• clove
• cinnamon
• oil

For the nest:

• daikon
• rice vinegar
• vermicilli rice noodles
• lime, zested and juiced
• coconut oil
• salt
• mint leaves
• basil, chiffonade
• spinach
• cucumber, diced
• red pepper flakes, if desired

Combine

1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
2. Peel the daikon then chop it into little sticks.  Stir together some rice vinegar and salt until the crystals are dissolved then submerge the daikon in the bowl, adding more vinegar if needed.  Set aside.
3. Mince the garlic, shallot, and ginger.  Sprinkle the ground meat with the seasonings and gently fold together until well incorporated but not over-mixed.  Roll the mixture into one to two inch sized balls, toss in a little coconut oil, and place on the sheet.  Bake for 15-20 minutes or until cooked, stopping to turn the pieces over and rotate the baking sheet halfway through.
4. Bring slightly salted water to a boil in a small pot.  Add the vermicelli noodles and cook for 2-3 minutes.  Dump into a strainer and rinse thoroughly with cold water.
5. Stir together the lime juice and zest, coconut oil, and salt in a large mixing bowl.  Toss the mint, basil, and large handfuls of spinach with the dressing until well coated.
6. Add servings of greens to bowls then add servings of noodles.  Top with daikon, extra vinegar, and cucumber.  Top with meatballs.
7. Sprinkle with extra herbs or red pepper flakes and enjoy!

Jerk

Sometimes life throws a curve ball your way, causing you to lose a few steps backwards, to lose endless hours of sleep, and to take too many deep breaths to count.

Sometimes life is a jerk.

Lately, this is what life feels like: a series of extreme days, nights, and weeks, most of which seem to be countered by some strange and equally extreme blessings, but nonetheless, riding out a chunk of life on a roller coaster will most definitely earn you some grey hairs.

Although I'm not usually one to count my blessings, nor to dwell on my spites with life, getting dragged through the muck lately has lent cause for reminiscing on equally stressful but blessed times, like these same weeks last year, when I picked up life as I knew it, pulled out half my hair, and stumbled my way to a little Caribbean neighborhood in New York that instantly became second home.

Maybe it's because atop the list of life's latest stresses is the fact that I'm once again leaving the nest, but this jerk salmon dream bowl seemed like the perfect fit for a time like this.

It's not because I grew up eating jerk anything, it's because this is a small ode to what made Brooklyn taste as familiar as home - a plate full of flavor, texture, and freshness.

So soak some jalapeno in pineapple juice to kill it's kick, use whatever sauce spice level you can tolerate, let the jerky moments go, and absorb a little taste of what I call home.

Jerk Salmon With Green Rice and Pineapple Pico

Ingredients

For the pico:

• 1/2 c pineapple, diced, with extra juice from cutting board
• 1/2 jalapeno, minced
• 1 T shallot, minced
• salt, just a pinch

For the salmon:

• Salmon (2-4 portions), skin on or off
• Jerk marinade
• 2 T coconut oil
• a pinch of salt

For the rice:

• 3-5 T coconut oil
• 3 small cloves garlic, minced
• 1 T shallot, minced
• 1 c short-medium grain rice
• 1/2-1 t salt
• 1-2 lemons or limes, 1 juiced, 1 sliced (optional)
• Warm water as needed
• 1 c basil, finely chopped
• 2 c parsley, finely chopped
• 2 c spinach, finely chopped
• 1/4 c coconut milk, shaken well

Combine

1. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and set aside.
2. Combine the ingredients for the salsa in a small bowl and set aside for at least 20 minutes.
3. Stir the jerk, oil, and salt together in a separate bowl, then add the salmon to the dish and gently toss it so it is well covered in sauce, adding more if needed.  Let marinate while refrigerated for 30 minutes.
4. Heat the coconut oil in a large skillet over medium-low heat until just shimmering.
5. Add the garlic and shallot and saute for 1-2 minutes, stirring semi-often to avoid burning.
6. Add the rice and salt and saute for 3-4 minutes, stirring gently but well so the grains are well coated in oil.
7. Add the citrus juice, and citrus slices if using, cook until the juice is evaporated then turn the heat up to high and add 1 cup of water.
8. 
   
• Stir continuously as the water bubbles off, then add half a cup of water.  Continue this process for about 40 minutes.  Each time the water cooks off you'll notice that the water seems "thicker" as the starch from the rice meddles with it.  When the rice is ready it will be soft enough to eat but firm enough to not fall apart, and there should be enough "sauce" to hold the ingredients together.
• After you add two or three half-cups of water, preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  This usually takes 10 minutes, after which you should place the salmon on the sheet and bake for 20 minutes - this is roughly how long it will take the rice to finish cooking.
9. Add 2 tablespoons of water, the coconut milk, and the greens, stirring as the water cooks off.
10. Add a large scoop of rice to a bowl, top with a piece of salmon, and a spoonful of salsa.
11. Enjoy!

Two Pea Pasta with Basil Mint Pesto

So technically edamame isn't a pea, which means this is truly a one pea pasta, but our focus isn't on the technicalities here people.

Our focus is on a little lean, green protein that was strong enough to help a dream dish be realized.

A dream dish that is cool and simple enough for a hot evening, complex enough to fuel a soul with enough energy for whatever it may need, and delicious enough to eat again the next day because not even the most dedicated kitchen enthusiast looks forward to turning on their stove twice in the summer.

A dream dish that is different, light, and successful... successful in disguising pasta that is.

What kind of person goes around disguising pasta?  The kind who wants pasta to be more than just a carb, who wants to elevate it to a whole new level, who wants to use it like it's bread aka the god of all carbs, as a pure vehicle for the deliciousness that it carries with it.

After my first attempt at this dish, I found myself staring down at my bowl.  It was good, all the ingredients I dreamed of were in it, and yet something was not quite right.  I had made the basil mint pesto as one normally would but it seemed like a dull comparison to my dream version, the shallots felt out of place, the peas looked like an afterthought since the shells didn't pick them up exactly how envisioned. Staring down at the pieces of edamame trapped beneath the pasta in a pesto bath, I realized my mistakes.

The olive oil in the pesto was too strong for the delicate basil-mint flavor combo but wasn't strong enough to hold the ingredients together in the way I imagined.

It had to go, so in stepped avocado and out came this dream dish!

Two Pea Pasta with Basil-Mint Avocado Pesto

Ingredients

• 1 large shallot
• Red wine vinegar
• 1 small bunch of mint (1 tightly packed cup)
• 1 small bunch of basil (1 loosely packed cup)
• 1 lemon, juiced
• 2 small cloves of garlic
• 1 avocado, ripe
• 4 servings of linguine
• 1/2 c edamame, shelled, frozen
• 1/2 c peas, frozen
• 2 small zucchini, cut into match sticks
• Feta as desired
• Crushed red pepper, for garnish
• Salt and pepper as needed

Combine

1. Mince the shallot, place in a small bowl with a pinch of salt, cover the pieces with the red wine vinegar and set aside.
2. Rinse the mint and basil, remove the leaves from the stems, and add to the bowl of your food processor with the lemon juice.
3. Puree the leaves for two or three minutes until they are minced, then add the garlic and puree again.
4. Add the avocado to the bowl with a pinch of salt and black pepper, puree until smooth, then set aside.
5. Fill a large pot halfway with water, add a teaspoon of salt, and bring to a boil over high heat.
6. Add in the linguine and cook for 5 minutes, then add the edamame and cook for 5 more minutes, then add the peas and cook just until the water starts to boil again.
7. Dump the pasta and peas into a large colander and rinse with cold water - note, not everyone likes to do this but I do.
8. Make sure all the water is drained off the pasta then transfer it to a large mixing bowl.
9. Add the avocado pesto to the bowl and use two forks to toss the pasta until it is thoroughly coated.
10. Toss in the zucchini then use the forks to twirl servings of pasta into bowls or onto plates.
11. Sprinkle with crumbled feta, pickled shallots, and crushed red pepper and enjoy!

Don't salt, just feta.

Yes, you read that right.

All you crazy people putting salt on your watermelon can stop before you start, all you really need is feta!

It's a classic that not many people know about but now that you're set straight you can move on to eating this ideal end of the summer meal.

The chicken has a mustard-y kick and is a great alternative to the sweet honey-mustard recipes that are too common, the quinoa salad is adjusted from Equinox because watermelon, feta, and basil are the best, and of course no meal would be complete without kale.

Enjoy!

Mustard Chicken with Basil Melon Quinoa + Balsamic Kale

Ingredients

For the Chicken

• 1 lb chicken, thinly sliced
• Olive oil as needed
• 2 t mustard seeds for sprinkling
• 3 t ground mustard seed
• 1 t salt
• 1 t pepper
• 1/2 t crushed red pepper
• 2 t onion, dried
• 2 t garlic, dried
• 1 t oregano or tarragon

For the Quinoa

• 3/4 c quinoa, well washed
• 1 1/2 c water
• 1 T oil
• 2 T basil
• salt
• 2 c watermelon, diced
• 2 T feta
• 1/2 t pepper

For the Kale

• 4 large kale leaves, washed and chopped.
• 1 T oil
• 1-2 T balsamic reduction

Combine

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
2. Boil water over high heat, add in the quinoa, oil, basil, and salt, and cook until the water is level with the quinoa.  Reduce to low heat and simmer covered until cooked through.
3. While you wait mix up the spices for the chicken.
4. Trim the chicken and rub it with a little olive oil.
5. Sprinkle both sides of the chicken with whole mustard seed, then sprinkle both sides with the spice mix until well covered.  (Use the back of a spoon to press the spices down if needed.)
6. Bake the chicken for 15-20 minutes or until cooked through.
7. While you wait put the watermelon, feta, and pepper into a large mixing bowl and toss.  Fluff the quinoa with a fork, add to the bowl, and toss until combined.
8. Wash and chop your kale, heat the oil over medium-low heat, then add kale and cook until just wilted.  Toss with the balsamic reduction.
9. Enjoy!